Colonel Roy Neko
by Takkian
Summary: What would happen if the colonel suddenly turned into a kitty? Not completely… He just happens to grow ears and a tail! What does our Fullmetal Alchemist have to say? Lot’s of catnip involved! RoyXEd! And maybe a tad bit RoyXHavoc and Havoc MPREG! Gasp!
1. The Girl at the Pub

**Colonel Roy Neko**

**A/N**: YAY! My first Neko fic! Funny how it turns out to be an FMA fic instead of Shaman King one. But who knows what might happen. Hmm… Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this one as well as my other one. I hope to get many reviews! Oh and boarders mean scene changes or flashbacks. One more thing: ALICIA! There's a big surprise for you besides Roy having cat ears and a tail! Now on with madness!

_Chapter One… The girl at the pub…_

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"This really isn't my day…" Roy mumbled as he walked through the wet streets of East City. It had unexpectedly began to pour; getting the colonel's uniform completely drenched without warning. He had decided to take a walk since he was so frustrated. He swore he would've damn nearly killed someone if Major Armstrong hadn't yanked him out of the office. Something someone had said really pissed him off and he really needed to cool down since he had this urge to rip that certain someone's head off. What that person had said really got him depressed and frustrated and he wasn't able to keep his mind off it. Roy looked up and before he knew it his head met with an icy cold pole, knocking him backwards. He rubbed his head while mumbling a few colorful words in anger before looking around to see if anyone had noticed the accident. Thankfully there was no one around to see but he noticed he wasn't in East City anymore. It seemed more like the outskirts of town but it was kind of creepy like since there was no one to be found. 

Roy needed a beer. An icy cold beer at that. He quickly looked at his surroundings yet again until he spotted a small pub at the corner of the street. Roy noticed the hanging sign titled 'we're open!' on the dusty window before walking over to the door. He slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, a soft creaking sound following along. Good thing there were actually people in there, a majority of them were old drunkards. Roy didn't care, he was just glad that people actually existed in this neighborhood. He quickly scanned the small room before briskly walking over and taking a seat on one of the stools beside the bar. There was young woman in a gothic like dress wiping cups dry while chewing on something, most likely tobacco. Roy found the young women quite attractive. She had slightly frizzy ebony locks that reached to her shoulders. Her hair had reminded him of Ed's. She also had matching dark eyes that but were similar to a cat. And what Roy liked the most was that she was very well shaped but she looked a bit familiar…

The young girl spit out the chewing substance in a bucket before placing the cup in front of the colonel. She eyed him carefully, looking at him suspiciously. "What woulddya like?" She asked kindly as she placed the small handkerchief in one of the pockets of her dark dress. "A beer." Roy replied before folding his hands and resting his head on them. She reached behind her and took a bottle, quickly opened it, poured it, then placed the bottle beside the glass. Roy thanked the young woman before chucking it then pouring in the rest. She observed the colonel a little more, noticing the faint melancholy expression. "Bad day at work?" The girl asked as she leaned over and began to wipe the counter around the colonel. He took a quick glance at her cleavage that showed as she leaned over. After he took a quick sip he replied, "Very." Then he finished off his drink. "I see." The young girl simply replied as she handed Roy another bottle before she took a seat on her stool behind the bar. He thanked her yet again before taking a sip. She continued to watch Roy before she was called over by one of the customers. "Hey, Alicia!" An old drunkard called from a table surrounded by many others like him, laughing and giggling with jugs in their hands. Apparently, they must be frequent customers since they knew her name. Roy eyed the young female as she stood up with a sigh and grabbed a bottle from the shelves behind her and walking over to the group of old men. "_She's cute…_" he thought before taking another swig.

When she walked back she sat on her stool once more and looked at the colonel yet again. "You don't happen to be Colonel Roy Mustang, would you? The Flame Alchemist?" She asked. Roy lifted in eyebrow in question, "Yes, why do you ask?" She smiled happily before clearing her throat to speak. "I knew you looked familiar! I'm your sister!" Alicia said happily as she waved. Suddenly, everything in Roy's head had shutdown. "W-wait… What?" Roy asked, trying to comprehend the girl's last sentence. "I'm your little sister. Alicia Washington Mustang!"

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Alicia explained everything on how they were related and how they never got to know each other. She added many unnecessary sound affects and gestures that really scared the colonel. Took nearly all damn night… "So that's what happened!" She finally finished with a large grin. "I see well… I have to head back to HQ. I probably have a shit load of paper work to do." Roy said as he stood up, praying that he didn't have to hear another story. He swore his butt had made a permanent dent on the seat. "But it's late. You can't go. Besides, they already locked the inner gates to the city." She explained. "_Damn it she's right…_" Roy thought before sighing. He knew it was coming… "Do want to spend the night!" Alicia asked happily, with that sad glint of hope in her eyes. Damn puppy dog eyes… "Why not." He said unenthusiastically. He prayed to God that he didn't have to sit through a story with her. "YEAH!" She cheered happily as she stood up. The girl explained that she had to ready the beds and close down the pub and he would have to wait for few minutes. He took a seat yet again and awaited the young girl to do what she had to do.

Moments later he was found sitting on a very uncomfortable bed while staring out the dark window. It seemed like the room hadn't been used for a very long time. Well, at least he didn't have to deal with that idiot Jean Havoc. God, he gets him so mad! Roy made a noise of frustration before slamming his fist into the bed. A moment later the bed ended up collapsing, causing the room to fill up with dust. Great…

Roy sighed before he unwillingly stood up. For moment he swore he saw a light coming from under his door. But it wasn't normal light; it was alchemic light. Roy decided to investigate so he walked over to his door and opened it. He quietly closed it behind him after he cautiously slipped through. He walked through the dark hallway of the pub, getting closer to the door he believed the light came from. He stopped when he saw the light again. That was definitely alchemic light. Roy stepped closer to the door, his heart beating faster. Now why was he so afraid, he didn't know. He slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open revealing something strange. It was Alicia and she was making… chimeras! She looked over and saw the colonel standing there in shock. "Oh, hi Roy!" She greeted happily as if nothing was wrong. "W-what the hell is this?" Roy was taken aback and left speechless. He looked at all the chimeras lying about in cages all around the room. She stood up from the array she had finished creating on the ground and faced Roy. "I was expecting you." Alicia said mysterious way that gave the colonel goosebumps. Suddenly the door behind him shut, causing him to jump slightly. In that same instant, she grabbed Roy and threw him in the ground. Everything happened so fast. The colonel didn't know what was happening anymore. After that moment, all he remembered was a light.

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Roy awoke to the sound of birds chirping and soft drops of rain falling on his face. He felt so tired. He wanted to open his eyes but felt like they were super-glued shut. Even if he wanted to move he couldn't. What happened? He asked himself. Then the memories of last night played back in his mind. Ignoring the screaming aches and painful movements, Roy quickly stood up and looked around. Why was he outside? He was lying behind a bush in front of… his house? He was so confused. Roy felt this enormous headache growing in the back of his head as he stood up and walked over to his house. He thought of it as just dream. He probably fell over behind the bush and fell asleep there on accident since he was most likely wasted.

Once Roy was in his house he decided to take a much-needed shower. Once there, he let the hot water run through his dark hair, the water relaxing his tense muscles. "_Hmm… I'm hungry._" The colonel thought. Okay, that was random… Why was his body aching so much?

Something brushed up against his legs, interrupting his thoughts. Roy turned around and there was nothing there. Then he felt it again, he looked over his shoulder and saw something that should not be there. His expression changed to one of horror when he continued to stare at the fuzzy length. "Oh my god…" He breathed.

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"What-am-I-going-to-do-what-am-I-going-to-do-what-am-I-going-to-do!" The colonel continued to repeat as he paced around his bedroom in nervousness. He had to get to work but also had to find away to get rid of that tail. Why was there a tail growing out of his ass! Roy made a loud noise of frustration before slipping on the rest of his uniform. He took a seat on his bed and began to think. The events of last night were real. So it must have been the work of his sister! But why would she do that? The colonel sighed and turned his attention to the new problem. Now… what to do. He turned his head and saw his brand new friend swaying gracefully behind him. He had to figure out someway to get rid of his problem, or at least figure out how to hide the thing. He couldn't just stroll up to headquarters with a cat tail. This wasn't going to be an easy task…

Some how, the colonel managed to slip into HQ without his tail being seen. He sighed as he continued signing meaningless papers before trusty lieutenant Hawkeye walked in with a fresh stack of papers and reports. She gasped and dropped all the papers on the ground in shock. Roy looked up in surprise and noticed the traumatic look on Riza's face. Then he felt his heart skip a beat. _Oh my god… she saw the damn tail._ He thought nervously. She cleared her throat and regained her composure before speaking, breaking the awkward silence in the room. "Don't mind me asking sir, but…" She began uneasily. "What are those?" She asked as she pointed to something on the colonel's head. "What is it, lieutenant?" Roy asked as he lifted an eyebrow in question. He felt somewhat relieved at the fact Hawkeye hadn't noticed his tail but then again… what could she be talking about that would've made her lose all composure? "Those… ears." She replied. "…Ears?" Roy reached for his ears and realized they weren't there…What the hell! He reached farther up his head and felt the fuzziness that Hawkeye was apparently talking about. "Oh my god…" He breathed yet again. This was just too much for him.

_End of Chapter One..._

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**A/N**: So…. Whachya think? You like? Please send me reviews! I need feedback! I hope you all like it. I know it was sucky, but it will get better soon. I promise! But only if you promise to review. Ideas or suggestions for next chapters are welcome! I can mostly likely work with what you have! Well, I hope to update in at least two days. I'm kind of working on another FMA fic and a Shaman King one that my friends beg me to continue. Luv Ya!


	2. The New Pet

**Colonel Roy Neko **

**A/N**: WHEEE! Chapter two! I'm so glad you guys luved the last chapter! But six reviews in one night! What more could I ask for! Thank you so much, I just wish I could hug each and every one you! Well… as a reward here's the second chappie! One more thing. I noticed a lot of you got confused but all shall be answered in the upcoming chapters. And about Roy's kitty parts. The thing is, as the day progresses he grows some other kitty part. I apologize for all the confusion I caused. Now… on wit da madness!

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Chapter 2… _The new pet…_

"I'm turning into a cat…" Roy said depressingly before letting his head fall on his desk in mise. Riza cleared her throat once more before speaking. "You're turning into a cat?" She asked, she was completely confused. Roy sighed before raising his head up then contemplating on whether or not should he explain to the lieutenant. Well, people were going to find out sooner or later. The colonel folded his hands and rested his head on them before explaining to Hawkeye the events of last night. After the colonel had finished his explanation, Riza was staring at him blankly. "So basically, you're a chimera?" She asked. "I believe so." Roy replied. "I see… That explains the ears." Hawkeye pondered. "So they're real?" She asked. Roy only nodded in response. Suddenly Riza felt this urge to glomp the colonel. He was just too cute! The almighty Colonel Mustang with cat ears! It was just-too-adorable! Riza looked away in embarrassment as she felt her cheeks growing red. Roy raised an eyebrow in question. "Is there something wrong, lieutenant?" He asked. She shook her head and regained her posture, cheeks still pink though. "Nothing sir." She retorted. "Alright then. You are dismissed." He said before the young woman walked out of the room. Roy groaned in frustration as he rubbed his temples to ease the intense headache that he had since this morning. It just continued to severe as the day went on. With his frustration and problems he felt as though his head would explode before the day was over.

When Roy believed his problems couldn't get any worse, he saw three people rush into his office. He huffed sadly as he felt the eyes of those people burning a hole through his head. "Oh my god…" Kain could not believe his eyes. Nor could Falman or Breda. Roy grew uncomfortable. He felt like a weirdo, a freak. Their gawks only served to make the colonel feel as though he were a monster. Roy's ears went down as he sank into his chair, feeling vulnerable.

There was so much tension in the air. It was just too quiet. If his headache wasn't bad enough before, this only severed it further. Just when Roy thought the silence was really getting to him one of his subordinates spoke up. "What-are-those?" Breda asked, breaking all silence in the room. Roy could only sigh inwardly, he felt it unnecessary to answer. "Go ask Hawkeye." And with that said, all three men ran back the way they came to ask the lieutenant. The uneasiness a moment ago made the colonel shiver. It was bad enough he was eyed every second by those who envied him of his power and those who were just simply jealous of his looks. But he never felt so uncomfortable before in his life.

Roy was just getting depressed by the minute. Roy ran his fingers through his dark hair but bumped into the large fuzziness along the way. He huffed in frustration as he slammed his fists into his desk, causing all the items on it to jump. The colonel was just too upset. This just was not his week… it wasn't his _month_! He rested his head on the desk and sighed yet again. And just when he thought it was safe enough to breathe, he heard the familiar sounds of yelling echoing outside his office. The one person he had dreaded to see today was getting closer to his office. He had hoped that the small alchemist would've delayed the due report again like always but by the way Roy's luck was going, there was no way he could escape the demon midget.

Edward stomped into the colonel's office, having an anger tantrum as usual. He slammed the door closed and glared at the colonel in anger. Before he was able to yell at his superior about his overdue report, Ed was left speechless as he looked at the strangest things pointing out of the colonel's head. Roy dared not look up for he knew the expression the tiny alchemist had was just beyond explanation. "What the hell are those?" Ed asked. Roy winced at the question. "Now this is surprising. I walk into the building with people jabbering about you and cat ears and this is was I find." Ed snickered. "Fullmetal, do you have the report?" Roy asked as he lifted his head from the desk, trying to get off the subject of his problem. "Yeah, I got it." Ed replied with a smirk as he pulled out his papers from his inner coat pocket before pitching them at the colonel. He caught it with ease and scanned through the report while Ed quietly walked over to the sofa and casually took a seat. Once the colonel signed the report and placed on the stack with the rest of the day's work he folded his hands under his chin and glared at the younger alchemist sitting across from him. "So… those ears real there, colonel?" Ed asked with a grin still plastered on his face as he stood up and walked over to the colonel's desk. Roy could only blush and he cleared his throat in discomfort before continuing his work. It was just so amusing to see the colonel like this. Its not everyday you find Mustang looking absolutely adorable. _Adorable_? Since when did the colonel look _adorable_? Well, Ed had to admit. Roy looked pretty damn cute with those ears. Ed had no idea how badly cat ears affected him. That was all he could stare at. That was all he was thinking about at the moment. Ed couldn't resist the urge to just scratch behind the colonel's ears. …So he did. "Fullmetal, what are you- …hey…" Roy mumbled, feeling the effect of Ed's touch. Ed could only blush at the colonel's reaction. It was just too darn cute! Ed continued to scratch behind Roy's ears until he heard a soft purr. Now _this_ was new. Roy was acting like a cat. His eyes were closed in total bliss, he was purring _and_ moaning, and he was rubbing his head against Ed's palm. Ed nearly wailed in awe but he had caught himself as he placed a hand over his mouth and lowered his head to hide his own blush. He also pulled away before anyone was able to walk in. Roy's eyes snapped open when he realized what had happened. He immediately covered his ears with his hands and blushed a bright red. "What the hell is your damn problem, Fullmetal!" The colonel yelled. "I couldn't help it." Ed answered truthfully with a shrug before walking back to the sofa and taking a seat. Roy only shook his head and looked down at the rest of his paper work, contemplating if he should finish it or not. He didn't know if he could with Fullmetal gawking at his ears. Thank goodness his tail was behaving today…

They were caught in tense silence before the Hawkeye, Falman, Breda, and Kain all walked into the room. "I swear…" Roy began to mumble as he rubbed his temples. "Does anyone know how to friggin' knock…" He continued mumbling incoherent things before Riza piped up. "I apologize sir, but we have important issues to discuss." She began. The colonel only nodded before everyone took a seat around the room. Ed felt it was time for his leave so he stood up to do so but Hawkeye had called him back. "You need hear this as well." She said before the young alchemist returned to his original spot.

"I'm assuming this has to do with my 'problem'." Roy said. "Well, Hawkeye informed us of everything and we immediately sent out a warrant for Miss Mustangs arrest." Breda began. "We're definitely not sending you to the laboratory. We can figure out a cure for ourselves." Kain informed. "And no one really knows of your becoming but we thought it would be best you keep a low profile." Falman added. "Meaning?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Meaning you cannot stay here in HQ." Hawkeye answered. "There are some people who will send you to the labs, considering who you are, but…" Kain was interrupted by Breda. "But if the problem persists and there is absolutely no cure then you'd be probably be sent there as a last option." Breda explained. "Hopefully, there will be no need to resort to that." Hawkeye added. "Agreed." The colonel responded. "But in any case, someone has to watch after you." Falman said. "Someone has to bring you your work and such, make sure that there aren't any changes to you and also report back to us if there are any problems." Breda explained. "And that's were Fullmetal falls in." Kain added turning his head over to said alchemist. Ed looked up in question; he was completely clueless considering he had not been listening to a word they had been saying. "Are you saying that…" Roy felt his eyebrow twitching. Oh god! He had hoped it didn't have to come to that. "We believe that Fullmetal is able to take up the job. He is the only one out all of us who is able to watch after you." Falman explained. "He's going to have to live with you." Hawkeye added. "Wait… what!" Ed stood up from his seat in anger. "I have no say in this?"

"Actually you don't." Breda countered. "But that's only if the colonel agrees." Kain said. Ed felt relieved by that. The colonel would never agree to such terms. He hated Ed! Or… so he thought.

"What say you, Sir?" Hawkeye asked while eyeing him. Roy took a few moments to think. Hmm… Ed and Roy living together, sounds pretty interesting. "Fullmetal, pack your things. We're leaving tonight." Ed felt his jaw fall to the ground in shock.

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**A/N**: Okay! Der ya go! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the others will be up soon. I don't really know where this is going myself but just work with me. I think I know but I don't… If you want I'm open for suggestions and ideas! I promise the next chapter will be up in three days! Review please! 


	3. Home Sweet Home!

**Colonel Roy Neko**

**A/N:** OH MY GOD! I is so happy now! You guys have made my life complete! I LUV U! –Ahem– anyway, you know the rules. Four our more means next chapter sooner. Well anyway, just read, read, READ! MUAHAHAHAH—cough, cough–

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Chapter 3... _Home Sweet Home!_

After at least an hour of kicking and screaming the group finally managed to get Edward into the car. Not without a few scratches and bruises. Ed was having the fit of his life. "I will **NOT **live in that bastards house, do you hear me! It's just not right! LET ME OUT!" Ed cried as he tried his best to unlock the doors of the car. Riza thought it was best to lock Ed in. Al sighed inwardly as he watched his brother throw a tantrum in the car. They had called him in and given him an idea of the situation. Al really doesn't know about the whole Roy turning into a cat thing. He was only told to pack his things and leave with the colonel that night. "Hawkeye, shouldn't you be threatening him or something?" Kain asked while sweatdropping. "No, its best for Edward to let all his anger out now then bring out on the colonel later." She answered as she continued to watch the Fullmetal Alchemist scream. Alphonse only shook his head in hopelessness before facing the lieutenant. "Speaking of the colonel, where is he?" Al asked. Hawkeye shrugged. "No clue." She replied. "He's in his office. Said he had to take care of some unfinished business before he left." Kain answered.

* * *

"What the hell is that?" Havoc asked with shock and confusion. "My ears." Roy answered. "And that?" He asked again. "My tail." Roy replied before sighing. "Why are you dressed up like a cat?" Havoc asked, still not completely satisfied. "I _am_ a cat." Roy answered one last time. Havoc just couldn't resist the urge to just glomp his colonel… Which is what he did three seconds later. "Havoc, what the- AH!" The blond glomped Roy and they ended up on the floor, with Havoc hugging him tightly. "You're just too cute!" he wailed in awe. Roy just stared at the blond in puzzlement. "Okay, umm… Jean?" "Yes Roy?" "Can you… let go? You're crushing my ribs." "Oh… Sorry." Havoc apologized as he released the colonel and blushed to a tinge of pink. Both men quickly stood up and dusted themselves off. "Okay, I bet you're wondering how I got these things." Roy began. "Actually… no." Havoc replied. "I'm too interested in you're ears." He admitted. "Why…?" Roy asked, staring at the lieutenant in confusion. "Well, since those are real cat ears then… are they sensitive like real cat's?" Havoc asked with a smirk. "Yes…" Roy replied with uncertainty. Then Roy's eyes widened in realization. "Do not even try It.," the colonel warned as he took a step back. "Oh, come on. You know you wanna." Havoc said, taking a step closer. "No. Away." He said, taking another step backwards, only to bump into his desk. Havoc got closer, with each step his grin grew. Until finally reaching Roy and scratching behind his ears. "Don't! Stop it! …ha…" The colonel murmured.

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"Will he ever run out of gas?" Breda asked in disbelief as he continued to stare at the small alchemist raging in the car. "Well, the colonel is taking a but too long. Someone should fetch him." Hawkeye said. "I'll do it." Al said. "Besides, watching Ed like this is really killing me." Al said while sweatdropping before turning around and heading toward the building. "LET ME OOOOUUUTTT! AL! DON'T GO!" Ed screamed. "Please make it stop…" Kain whimpered.

* * *

"Don't do that!" Roy said angrily as he covered his ears with his hands and blushed a deep pink color. "But you know it felt good." Havoc said teasingly. "I called you in for something very important, lieutenant. Not to scratch my ears." Roy said firmly before taking a seat at his desk, still flushed. "It's been about yesterday, isn't it?" Jean asked as he took a seat. "Well, I wouldn't be like this if you hadn't gotten me angry." 

"Oh, no. Don't you start blaming this on me."

"Maybe if you had at least told me the reason you broke up with me to weeks ago was because you were pregnant with MY child!" Roy said angrily yet calmly.

"I couldn't have just came up here and said, "oh roy, I'm pregnant!" without you fainting on me!"

"Well you told me yesterday!"

"But I thought you wouldn't believe me!"

"Jean, you didn't even try. How could expect our relationship to work out if you don't even trust me." Roy said, regaining his posture.

"I know, I'm sorry." Havoc said sadly as he lowered his head. "It's just... " Before he was able to finish his sentence there was a knock at the door. "Yes?" the colonel answered with a bit of annoyance. "Colonel Mustang, sir. It's me, Alphonse." The person on the other side of the door replied. "Well talk about this some other time." Roy said to his subordinant before Havoc saluted and opened the door to the younger Elric. Al walked in and Havoc left, closing the door behind him. "What is it, Alphonse?" Roy asked as he gathered his things. He didn't answer. Roy looked up in question as he saw the younger brother standing there, stiff as a log. The colonel could only sigh. "They didn't tell you, did they?" Roy asked. "You're a cat?" Al asked, pointing to the ears and tail. "Yes... I am." Roy replied before walking towared the door. "Oh, um... Ms. Hawkeye asked me to come and get you. Uh... are you ready sir?" Al asked nervously, fighting the urge to just hold the colonel. "Yes. Lets go." Roy sighed before both boys exited the office.

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"DAAAH! I am not going with you!" Ed continued yelling, this time the group was trying to pull him out of the car. "NO! I am not going!" He yelled. Al sighed in hopelessness as he walked into the colonel's home with thier belongings. "You can kick and scream all you want, Fullmetal. But you're coming with me." Roy said firmly as he grabbed the small alchemist and actually carried him into his house. "Why didn't you do that before?" Breda asked, left breathless from the struggle. "You be good, Fullmetal. And colonel," Hawkeye said as she and the others stepped into the car. Roy turned around to face the woman with Ed still struggling to get out of Roy's grasp. "Please, don't scratch Edward too much." Hawkeye said with a smirk as she turned on the ignition and left.

* * *

"Welcome to my home, boys." Roy said as he placed his stuff on the ground and dropped the fullmetal alchemist on his bottem. It was a pretty nice home. It was a one floor house with rather large living room. There were two large sofa's a coffee table and under it a soft blue rug to match the whole blue feeling to the room. Ahead was a dinning room with a large chandilier and ahead from that was the kitchen. On the left of the living room were doors, two of them being seperate bedrooms and one a small bathroom. To the right of the living room were two doors as well, one being the masterbedroom and the other a bathroom as well. From the looks of this house, the colonel was doing pretty good. 

"Well, you boys could put your things in either rooms over there." Roy said, pointing to said rooms on the left. "Make yourselves at home, do whatever you want, blahblahblah and so on. If there's anything you need just let me know." Roy said. Ed opened his mouth to say something but was cut off. "And no, you can't leave." Roy said firmly to the small alchemist. Ed only huffed loudly in frustration. "Alright, I'm going to bed. I'll see you two in the morning." Roy said before yawing and walking off to his room and shutting the door.

"Damn him..." Ed said with malic as he slumped on on the couch. "Don't be so angry with him, Ed. He's trying to be nice to you and I think you should do the same." Al said as he walked into one of the rooms and placed their stuff there. Sad thing is, Roy was trying... And obviously Ed didn't care. "It's not fair, Al. You just shouldn't make two people who hate eachother live together let alone put them in the same room." Ed said as he walked to the room with his brother. "I don't think he hates you, Ed." Al said. "Well if he didn't then why does it seem like he does?" Ed asked as he began to remove his clothes. "It sounds like you two like each other." Al said. "What!" And with that, the brothers were left talking about Ed's feelings toward the colonel.

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In Roy's room, he quickly removed his uniform and yawned loudly before crawling under the covers and into bed. His eyes sprang open when he realized how he was lying on his bed. "No..." He muttered as he sat up. "I will **not** sink that low!" Roy said. He turned to his side and felt his body automaticly curl up. "nooo..." he whimpered. He rolled over onto his back and his eyes sprang open yet again. This time, in pain. He quickly rolled over to his side again and rubbed his tail. Now he knew how sensitive a cats tail is. He sighed and realized there was no hope so he curled up under his blanket like a small kitten would and driftted off to sleep.

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**A/N:** I know! I'm soo sorry! It was short and it sucked... I need suggestions... I'm soo pathetic! cries Anyway, I hope you liked it, at least a little. I'll try to update soon but I got writers block... Review please! This is what keeps me going. Luv ya all! Bye!  



	4. What Did I Do to Deserve This?

**A/N**: I'm so sorry for not updating, A lot of things have been happening. My life has been so hectic lately. I'll try harder to keep you guys satisfied. I really appreciate all the reviews I've received. Thanks a lot, you're the ones that keep me going. Okay! Now, on with the story!

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_Colonel Roy Neko_

_Chapter Four... What did I do to deserve this?_

The next morning, the colonel awoke to a funny scent in the air. His nose twitched slightly before his dark orbs slowly opened to find himself curled up like a baby kitten.

"Damn…" Roy mumbled as he rolled over on to his stomach and began to stretch out like a cat would, his back arching upward and his tail pointing out. The colonel yawned as he scratched his dark hair that tangled in between his dark blue ears. He was unbelievably sore today, he really didn't know why. And he felt a bit shorter too. Roy brushed off the thought and stood up to leave his bedroom. As soon as he opened the door his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"Oh… hehe… Hiya… Colonel." Ed said nervously as he waved with a spatula and burning pan in hand. He smiled cheekily as hopped down from the chair he was standing on to aid his height problem.

"Sorry about the mess. I'll clean up as soon as I'm done." The blond added as he scrapped off crispy black pancakes from that stuck on to the pan. Or at least tried to scrape them off.

"What happened to my kitchen?" Roy asked as he walked over to what used to be an expensive white and silver kitchen.

Ed turned around and faced his dumfounded superior with a wide cheeky smile. "Well you see… it's a long story." Ed began.

"I bet it is." Roy said, still studying his white, now black wallpaper peeling off slowly.

Before Edward was able to explain, smoke smacked him in the face. He turned around to see his eggs burning. The young alchemist quickly grabbed the pan and removed it from the flame. Disregarding the fact that the fire was still on and too high, the ceiling set aflame. Edward, now noticing this, quickly turned the fire off and made a dash for the fire extinguisher.

Roy sighed and decided to leave the burning kitchen in Ed's hands. The colonel walked into the lounge room and took a seat on the sofa. Maybe having Fullmetal living with him wasn't such a good idea. Well, he only burnt down his fifty-thousand-dollar kitchen trying to make breakfast. Roy brushed it off with a sigh, seeing there was nothing he could about it. Fullmetal was forced against his will to live with him.

As Roy continued to muse, he was slowly lying on the couch. His body inched closer and closer until he was fully lying on it. Roy was tired. Very tired. And he felt lazy. Soon he was curled up against the large sofa. He yawned loudly before falling asleep.

Back in the kitchen, Edward was fighting fierce flames that refused to give up to the mighty power of the fire extinguisher. Eventually the flames ceased and the chaos in the kitchen was at rest. Ed smirked widely and stood proudly holding the empty fire extinguisher.

"Aha! No fire can withstand the power of Edward Elric!" Edward laughed. As if cued, the counter he just sprayed caught on fire once more. With a mighty warrior cry, Ed stomped on the fire fiercely until it was out. "Ha! In yer face!" Ed said pointing to the counter where the flame once stood.

Ed observed the food he just prepared. Everything was black and crispy. This wasn't the first time he cooked but then again, he hadn't cooked in a while. "I may be a prodigy but I certainly am no great chef." Ed said as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, nothing alchemy can't fix!" he said with a smirk and a fierce clap.

* * *

**A/N:** I am soo sooo soooo sorry! I haven't updated in such a long time and I really needed to put somethig up for you! My fans! I love you all and again I'm soo soo sooo soooooooo freakin sorry! (cries) 


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